A polite moan trains him to keep doing the wrong thing. Quiet honesty is kinder than theatre. If you did not get there, do not award the performance.
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If the night is good and the ending is not, a hand is allowed. It is not an insult. It is logistics. Pleasure does not need a permission slip from him.
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Dirty talk dies when it sounds rehearsed. Short, specific, a bit rude. Name what is happening. Better one honest line than a speech copied off a screen.
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Showing off on the sofa like I owned the place. One housemate came back early for her keys, froze in the doorway, and just said “oh for fuck’s sake Cat.” Door slammed. I still finished. Obviously.
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Night one is reconnaissance. Night two is for trying the thing you actually want. Say it in the cab, not after he has already chosen the plot.